February 20th, 2004

new hair cut

(no subject)

I live with people for a reason -- I need the security of knowing somebody is there while I'm sleeping. Because of .. certain pieces of my past .. I have a hard time falling asleep with the door to my bedroom open, and I have a hard time falling asleep in a bed with somebody unfamiliar. Everybody is gone again tonight, on vacation or sleeping at a significant other's, and this house which is normally full to the brim of people at every concievable hour is now completely devoid of life. On the nights where I have to sleep by myself, its really helpful to know that there are at least four other people around.

Sometimes to make the house seem smaller I'll turn on the radio in different rooms. Somehow when the sound fills the empty space, it doesn't feel empty anymore. Tonight I've chose to rely on other means of security, however. Tonight my comfort zone takes the form of a tiny little grey kitten named Tivo who won't get the fuck out of my lap or stop purring. She likes to hide herself inside the belly of my big sweatshirt and rest her head on my pudge. She also likes to drape herself across my hands and the laptop while I'm typing, which is a minor irritation. She too is under the weather -- I know she misses all the boys. She follows Whitney and I around diligently as we go about our business. She sits on top of the toilet while I shower.

I have so much to do and so very little motivation to do it. I have to clean the fuck out of my bedroom, do all my laundry, and clean out my car within the next week or so. I'm tired of all the clutter everywhere, I might go crazy.

Okay, its very late, and I must go to bed now. If I can get this damned cat off me.
  • Current Music
    its quiet here